What happens when you have several unrelated symptoms making it difficult for the doctors to pinpoint the underlying issue? How many weeks are you willing to accept wishy-washy explanations from disinterested specialists while enduring off-the-charts levels of pain? At what point do you stop listening, take matters into your own hands, and finally say, "Somebody help me!"

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That's exactly what happened to me. In 2021, while my primary physician and gynecologist worked tirelessly for nearly 4 months trying to figure out the root cause of my pain, the first oncologist I was seeing didn't seem interested in solving the mystery in a timely fashion. They only seemed interested in being "the one" who could claim the diagnosis for their own; and the moment they realized they were not going to be planting any flags, they wrote me off. I was adrift, in pain, and in the shadow of constant fear.

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Round the Twist: Facing the Abdominable chronicles my 15-month journey from the very first symptoms (ovarian cysts) to diagnosis (Stage-4C colon cancer), through four surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. Coping with the physical effects of cancer treatments is easy compared to dealing with the reality of "having cancer." Since I couldn't find the resources I needed, I set out to document my experience as a way to fill that void. 

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At its heart, the book is a story of hope and resilience, but also one of sadness at the loss of innocence. Having a body and mind ready to face something as unbelievable as late-stage, terminal cancer, at the age of 47 is not as easy as it sounds. I am a lifelong vegan, yogi, and health nut -- I was not supposed to get any kind of cancer. How does one wrap their brain around this surreality?

 

The second book in the series, Welcome to the Bright: The Winding Path from Survivor to Thrivor, begins with my successful colostomy reversal and chronicles the year of clear scans, taking an oral chemotherapy drug, and trying to get back to some semblance of normal. All along, I worried about a recurrence, facing panic attacks and a paralyzing fear of leaving my protective bubble. I did not trust that I was disease free, but I found a way to live my life to its fullest every day and to appreciate the fact that I had already outlived my expiration date by a year.

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Since my diagnosis, I have seen so many others struggling to beat their cancer, some with the exact same diagnosis and treatments that I had. The statistics are daunting to say the least. The upcoming third book in the series, Between the Waves, dives deep into the experiences of many of the amazing women I have met with colon cancer, while closing out my own story of acceptance that cancer is forever.

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I have asked myself so many times since my diagnosis how could I be so lucky to have survived this long? I keep coming back to these lines from the book: "But was it luck? Or had the very real, focused attention, expertise, and goodwill of an entire team of people, coupled with my moxie, made this happen? Luck played no part in this. My exhausted body and exhausted husband were a testament to that." ©LisaFebre2023